there's that one for anxiety. I don't know if you have OCD, I'm not a doctor and stopped pretending to be on online, but there's one for OCD as well. OCD doesn't have to involve physical compulsions so...there's that. An OCD workbook like that one is around and though I have never read or used either, I have heard fucking amazing things about these books. I go to therapy! Which has helped tremendously. I also take medications, which has helped a lot, but for anxiety, it's just a fucking band-aid and I know that.
Take a look at that book. Seriously. At least the anxiety one. I know the OCD one is recommended for people who obsess over things as well, which it sounds like you are doing, but ... yeah.
It's not a way to live. At all. Do what you can to try and help this, please. Life is really a lot better without it.
I used to lay awake just like you, worrying about shit. Hell, I still worry about people dying, but I basically give that thought two seconds and can manage to shut it down at least 80% of the time before I become a weepy mess on the floor, almost as though I am living the actual scenario. It's pretty fucked.
Just fight that shit. You're tough because you already live with it. I seriously yell "NO!" in my head at this point and like, that helps but it did take me MANY MANY years to get here.
Don't stop trying to get rid of it. Ever. Keep trying. If the books don't work, please try therapy. If therapy doesn't work (and you might need to try several therapists with different approaches before coming to that conclusion) then maybe it's time to at least consider meds and I know a lot of people are against therapy and medication.
But is it worth it to live like that? That, what you just described, is a fucking living hell. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
But you're taking a step here. Take as many as you can.