Husband [43M] wants to end marriage over my [35F] drinking.

Your husband sounds awful, TBH.

First, why do you need to "ask him for permission" to go to a fucking concert with a friend? Coordinating schedules is one thing, but permission is quite another. Is this typical behavior for him? He sounds controlling.

Second, you get one fucking night out after years and he calls you during the concert because he can't take of his own child for a few hours? I'm going to take a wiiiiiild guess here (/s) and say that you do most of the parenting/childcare. Especially when you're the breadwinner/primary worker, he should be picking up more of the childcare/housework slack.

Third, you did have a problem with alcohol. Blacking out when drinking is a clear indicator of a problem once you leave college, and especially when you're in your 30's. That speaks to immaturity and lack of self-control. That being said, you quit successfully and have been fine since then. Your drinking as you described at the concert is not inappropriate or indicative of an alcohol problem.

It seems like there's more going on here than the booze to me. It sounds like your husband is a controlling jerk who seized alcohol as an excuse to punish you and control you for having the gall to have friends and a social life outside of him. Have you noticed he's isolating you? Making you ask for fucking permission to leave the house? This sounds really bad, but more info and background on what your relationship is like is needed.

/r/relationships Thread