I'm not sure what to title this.

You seem pretty smart so I'm just going to dive in with this rather than dilly dally- lol.

So this list you've made. The conclusion I draw from it is that you habitually think negative thoughts. We can both agree on this- every emotion we experience in day to day life is driven by the thought immediately before it, correct?

Humans are creatures of habit. Every fucking god damn thing that you and I do is because of habit, lol. Once we approach the mind, and thoughts, from a perspective of habit, the entire situation starts to feel a little more controllable.

So the next step is changing these thoughts into happy ones all the time so you habitually think good things instead of bad ones. Unfortunately, as you already know, this cannot be forcefully done, and trying to habitually think a bunch of good things when you're feeling the wrong way can actually make everything worse in some situations. But good news, you don't have to create happy patterns of thought through thinking. You have to let them naturally happen through experience.

If I were talking to you like a brother: 1) Get a gym membership, or go on runs, or do something to improve the physical aspect of your body. Doesn't matter if you're a greek fucking god, making small improvements every day SETS YOUR MIND UP TO THINK POSITIVELY ALL DAMN DAY! 2) Realize that your thoughts are not your thoughts. They are your habits. Change your habits and you will change your mental state. When we desire something too much (to be happy once again) it can turn into the most unattainable goal imaginable- I was there at one point, I kind of understand. 3) Think about your desires, and how they cause your bad feelings. You desire all of these things in yourself that you don't have yet, but you're afraid to even acknowledge the good things about yourself. I can already tell by your story that you're a smart fellow, so there are other attributes to follow that are surely admirable. 4) If you want to be happy, you never will be. If you 'want' anything, your default state is automatically unsatisfactory. Eliminate desire from your life, and you will truly experience what life is. Stop wanting. Stop thinking that you need to be happy all the time (if you currently do). We need sad and happy, for if one of them didn't exist then neither would the other. Literally.

/r/depression Thread