I was an enabler, and was totally unaware of it for so many years. As an abused and neglected child, what the narc was doing seemed normal and I genuinely thought that was just that person was just doing their best, that they expressed their love differently, and truly thought they cared.

When I came around (it was a literal epiphany!) I felt devastated that I'd caused so much harm, and justified what is narcissistic abuse. Of course, I was replaced.

I say with empathy - enablers are vulnerable, often abused, downtrodden people who have been so mistreated for so long that they think the baseline of abuse is normal. Not saying to excuse their shit behaviour (I'm glad I was called out on mine, though it failed to register at the time - took me years to put all the pieces together), just - know they are also very much in the orbit of abuse and so far gone they can't see it.