You're in college (that's already an achievement so well done) but it means you are probably young and that means you have a lot of time ahead of you. If you kill yourself you will never get better. You will be dead and rotting in the ground and you won't get to see or find out how people react to that.

But if you don't kill yourself then maybe, just maybe things might get better. you might find something you enjoy or find something that does help your illness and then your life can find a whole new meaning. Every person who has spoken publicly after a failed attempt on the golden gate bridge had said that they realised as soon as their hands left the railing, that their problems were not nearly as bad to lose their life over. don't kill yourself because you will be robbing yourself of the opportunity to get better. don't do it for your friends or family, don't do it for your mom. Do it for yourself and prove to yourself that you deserve to live