Not gonna lie, that feels really hard to do. But I'm moving & have a new life in front of me. I'm going to have to really learn to take good care of myself. I have not been doing that lately, but I'm looking forward to moving for a new job in a beautiful place. I know no living soul in that city, so I will friendship instead of love. I must learn what love really is first, and I suppose that begins with myself. I need to first be a friend to myself.

As for developing masculine/feminine characteristics, what do you recommend? I feel like I need therapy, a hobby like rock climbing or jiu jitsu, exercise, & time for meditation, reading, cooking healthy food. But idk how I can even balance that with a full-time job. Or afford it all. And find time for other things.

Plus, there's this catch, I feel the need to be social, but I'm so disappointed by social life. I just can't connect anymore. I used to be such an extrovert, but I've recently hate to force myself to be social b/c I know I'm in a deep hole. I just want to hide, and I hope I don't move & spiral b/c I'm all alone.

But also, maybe it's what I need. Maybe I just need to focus on being a great, new employee. Focus on sleeping well, eating right, & moving regularly. Focus on treating myself right. And perhaps I can find friendship through some healthy activities I aim to partake in.