It's a friendly rivalry similar to the French and the English, we give eachother shit but don't actually mean it. Any one telling you otherwise is distorting reality and acting as though the people from a generation ago (last referendum on independance was ~25 yrs ago) are still in power, or they're some weird english/french nationalist.
The independance referendum was worded to be intentionally ambiguous and got the government in a lot of hot water, it actually forced the UN to dictate language regulations for independance referendums so they couldn't have such vague wording going forward. Without the ambiguous wording the referendum would've got no where near 49%.
I've never met a Quebecois who didn't also identify as being Canadian and love Canada. The whole language thing is blown way out of proportion as well, they have no issue switching to English for you. It's only when you expect all of them to have 100% perfect English all the time to cater to you where you'll run into issues, because that's arrogant as hell. Even in rural Quebec simply saying bonjour or salut is generally enough to get a warm welcome.
Source: lived in Quebec for a year and have French family members