The relationship you have between you and your employer benefits the both of you. You both will profit from the exchange, your labor for an agreed upon amount of pay. You do not have to give your labor to the employer if the offered amount of pay is not what you are requesting.
The analogy of comes to mind of: I have a dollar. You have a pencil. I offer you my dollar for your pencil. The trade takes place because you value my dollar more than your pencil and I value your pencil more than my dollar. Both parties are better off, otherwise the trade would not have happened.
My relationship with the government is completely different. I do not assign ANY value to the government. But the government still takes my "labor" through forced taxation. I do not want any of the b-rate services that the government offers. Yet I have no option to not pay for them, regardless of whether the government will actually provide those services. As tax-paying citizens, I'm 100% liable to live up my end of the bargain while the government has 0% liability to live up to its end of the bargain. I end up with the short end of the stick.
This is different than employment because like I said, with the pencil example, the trade wouldn't take place if we both didn't walk away from the deal feeling like we each profited from the transaction.
Also, you are born into the relationship you have with your government. You have no option. Simply by random chance, you might be born in to a lightly oppressive government or you might be born into a heavily oppressive government. With employment, you are not assigned to an employer based upon the random plot of land you are born on. There is a much greater opportunity for choice.
Now, admittedly your choices are heavily limited proportional to the amount of education / trade skills you acquire over time. So, if you sit around and play X-BOX for the first 30 years of your life, then your choices of employment are definitely more limited than someone that has a technical degree or training, and with virtually 0 skills or education, then maybe you can say that you are born into an employer.
"Work for me for whatever wage I decide OR you will die due to starvation."
This is also not a true statement.
There are two problems with it:
1. Wage isn't solely up to the employer. Its set by market value. If there are 10 programming firms in the area all offering $15 per hour except for one, that offers $10 per hour, likely all the good programmers will go to the firms offering better wages and the firm offering the lower wage will have to settle for worse programmers, often the programmers with less work ethic or less experience. If experience is the problem, you work for the firm for $10 per hour for a couple years and once you have the experience, you apply at the others. In the end though, the firm offering $10 per hour will suffer in the quality of programmer they receive relative to the pay other comparable jobs are offering in the area.
If we wanted to decrease the wage even further, lets say to $2, no programmer would accept this position as a career choice. They might sacrifice the pay in the here and now and accept the position as an internship, but it would be simply to build the experience needed to obtain the higher paying jobs in the area.