This just made me realize one thing I didn't think of - there might be a type of project were I'd actually have to cooperate with my ex. Probably via phone or skype and it's not gonna be anything long term but the thought of that possibility has just set my heart racing and I'm quite freaked out. I know exactly how I'd handle that - behave professionally and pretend it's nothing but then be reeling for a few days on the inside, quietly eating myself and overanalyzing and whatnot. After all this time I don't know how I'd feel if I had to interact with him, whether there is any physical attraction left or I'm just furious about how he treated me and used me to boost his self-esteem.

Thank you, this whole thread, the comments, your comment and some of the others bring me back to the realization that I do have to address my own psychological issues, which I've been trying to do, actually, I did a bit of therapy, which has helped, but I got a lot to work on still. This unhealthy relationship just fed on my issues, kind of resonated with them and it amplified both the issues and the unhealthiness of the relationship. I feel like just avoiding the problem ain't gonna solve it (which was the logic behind applying anyway) but at the same time now I'm questioning if I'm ready to deal with my issues in such a direct way. The possibility of working there now feels like learning to swim by being thrown in water in the middle of a lake - and the last time I did that was when I was in a relationship with him and obviously I drowned. I do need that job but I'm seriously reconsidering things right now, maybe just applying was a good lesson in itself. I feel terrible about maybe refusing this opportunity though. I'm on the fence but thanks again, this has been very helpful.