That’s when you hand him back the money like you need Him to hold it. Maybe even say, “Ok, well then hold this a second,” and you give him the money back. And then you take a quick step away and you say:

Mister, it’s on me. And you turn your heal and walk off the floor, smile on your face. Because that man was treating you like a dog.

You might have to pay the tab. Maybe. But there you are, a hero to yourself and it only cost you $80.00.

But you have to make sure that the last thing you’re doing is throwing a fit. If you feel that way, stop.

You should feel happy at owning your own dignity.

I’ve forced tables to leave restaurants with their shit tips in hand. Polite refusal is your right. If you do it correctly they will never be able to accuse you of being anything but genuinely nice. And it will haunt them.

If I feel disrespected I will certainly not let you buy yourself and me off for an exchange of under a number that feels right in the moment.