I'm glad I saw your post. I teared up reading some of it because it really struck a chord with me.

I have been in similar situations, although with nothing worse than weed. I haven't tried anything other than alcohol, and I don't see the appeal of being outside of oneself for any extended period of time, much less planning to do it regularly. I understand how you are feeling, with the knot in your stomach at the mention, and a discomfort you can't place.

Unfortunately, I have not found a way of letting that feeling go. ): I wish I could be of more help in this aspect, but I just wanted to let you know that I do relate to what you are describing. You are not alone.

However, I would like to mirror what everyone else is saying-- that you two don't sound compatible. You didn't give details about how your dynamic is as a couple in other situations or on a day-to-day basis, but what you said in the beginning is alarming.

My ex used to say that all of the time and I resisted accepting that fact because I didn't think we needed to have everything in common to work out. Values and opinions on things like drugs, though, they usually matter enough to deem two people incompatible in a relationship. And, alas, in the end, my ex really was right about that all along.

I'd suggest taking a long look at how you two "work" together, and the ways you don't. Make a good old pros and cons list, and search within yourself to see if his drug use is something you can live with because he isn't going to stop and it's not something you can argue. :/

Be ready to end it if what you find is disheartening. It'll be so much better for the both of you in the long run, especially if you care about each other.

Best of luck, OP! Stay strong!