Hi, I'm NoBlueKoolAid, and I'm your fantasy Secretary of the Air Force for this thread.
Let's talk about fundraisers and how they're going to work from now on. For CFC and AFAF, you will get one official email per year for each with a link to further information.
If you want to donate, you can log in to Mypay and set up an allotment as you see fit. No organization of the United States Air Force will set up contribution goals, "fair shares," or anything else. No member or employee of the United States Air Force will be allowed to ask what you donated, emphasize the program's importance in any way, voluntarily disclose their donation status, or even re-forward the one official email per year per program.
What people want to give is between them and Mypay and maybe the IRS, if they itemize deductions.
In other words, we're getting out of your face about charity. Two emails a year, one for CFC and one for AFAF. No "kickoff meetings," no "project officers," no "100 percent contact" (we all have email, if you want to delete it that's your choice), no thermometer signs by the base gate, no dog-eat-dog bitchfests where Unit B is lagging behind Unit A and Unit B's commander "reiterates the importance" of the program, and no rewards or penalties. You give what you give and we're not allowed to keep score. You've got other stuff to do and so do we.
No local fundraisers besides the aforementioned CFC and AFAF, no exceptions. If there is a valid organization, it can sign up for a CFC campaign number and live on what it gets.
Yes, that means NO SELLING YOUR KID'S DAMN THIN MINTS AT WORK.
We're also forbidding the operation of the following organizations and practices, effective immediately. Booster Clubs, morale funds, stripe funds, "landing fees," CGOC, the Top 3, the Bottom 4, the Middle 2, or whatever the hell you're calling them this week. We're also forbidding their mention or consideration in any favorable personnel action. These things flush vast amounts of taxpayer-funded duty time and morale down the crapper, and it stops now.
If you're a good troop, you're doing enough not to have to buy or volunteer yourself to a good rating and you don't need this crap as a tiebreaker. If you have doubts about how awesome you are, stop cooking breakfast burritos in the squadron lobby and go accomplish the mission.
Sincerely, NoBlueKoolAid Fantasy Secretary of the Air Force
P.S. The next guy who leads a recitation of the Creed or who claps during the Air Force Song is getting a Secretarial Size 11 shoe up his behind. I'm looking at you, every command chief ever.