I'm in my 30s and last year developed a serious, debilitating disease that nearly killed me. As I was becoming more ill and desperate, it became more and more clear that I was maybe going to die.

I retreated into myself, then watched and had a look to see who was looking out for me. The answer was, beyond my immediate family and partner, not many. And it will be the same for you.

Don't take your friends for granted, and don't pretend to be a friend if you're not actually prepared to look out for your friends. Seeing this story has reminded how fickle modern friendships are, especially among adult men. There's not much use in looking back after it's too late.

Sorry to drop that on you OP and I hope you and yours recover and can make the best of the new year.