The manic pixie stuff in the beginning of a BPD relationship is a show, meticulously crafted to keep you engaged. It's an amalgam of "cool girlfriend" traits that are believed to work. If the red flags slip through, as they inevitably and quickly do (it's hard to keep a mask on for so long...) she turns up the act even more, to compensate.

Once you're sufficiently "hooked," the show ends. It's a lot of effort to maintain. This is because it was never genuine in the first place. It was a training device. And you are the pigeon in the cage, pecking at the machine for more pellets, which no longer dispenses.

I'm in a new relationship. A non-BPD one. There is never any weird drama: no screaming, no belittling, no tantrums, no demands, no guilting, no gaslighting..., because everything she does is genuine. When she lovingly annoys me by poking me like a puppy in the morning, it's genuine. When she laughs at my farts, it genuine. When she hides (poorly) behind the door and tries to scare me, it's genuine. And when she's not happy, she... now, get this... tells me, expresses it in a situation-appropriate fashion, and helps me to understand it, using English words that are designed to communicate, not manipulate or blame (and the reasons always make sense). She's genuine.

This is the real magic. Because it's just that, real, not a show designed to entrap you.

Learn to spot the difference between a Giver and a Taker, and you will no longer be attracted to the show. You'll be disgusted by it. In the same way that, when you see a person on the street walking your way, and you know immediately in your gut that he's going to ask you for money by telling you a contrived story, you'll immediately be able to spot a Taker's circus act for what it is - an attempt to extract value and happiness out of you - before it even begins. And you'll say "ick."