for some reason, men don’t want others to know they watch porn as often as they usually do.

Sometimes, people over/underestimate something, sometimes they "lie" because of social pressure or an insecure partner. I mean your exes and your current bf probably knew/figured that you're insecure, hence, they wanted you to feel better.

It’s affecting our sex life. Alot of the time he can’t stay up because he’s already watched porn the night before.

Have you addressed this issue? Have you talked about it?

I’ve been to therapy and counseling but honestly it was a huge waste of money while they just sit and ask question after question and just telling me to count and breathe and tap my feet

There are different types of therapy, not every therapist will treat you the same.