Ok, I'm pessimistic because I disagree with you. Same ole. Yes, he and everyone else wants to grow. Clearly, he wants to grow away from her. Why is it her choice if he's allowed?
But what if his judgement is clouded? We often misplace the source of our our dissatisfactions in life. It
I want to not be mad when I discuss this. I really do. Yes, what if. What if. What if his judgment is clouded? So it can't be her judgement? Ok, it's on him. So because it may be cluded, make him stay? What if his judgement was clouded when he chose to get married?
. It is possible that time apart will give him a different perspective, and lead him to be grateful for that which he lost sight of before. I find the concept of quantifying love ridiculous--I think he needs to do some growing and realize that his dissatisfaction is in himself (as these things often go). All this is predicated upon him being truthful.
So he can't just want to be free? It's a problem he has that must be fixed? How can you possibly justify that?
I know I'm the asshole, but I really can't express my emotion with this. You are saying some of the most hurtful manipulative things while calling me pesimistic.
Maybe her desire to "keep him" is in herself. Maybe it's her problem. Maybe he has a right to not be her fucking object. I'm sorry, I'm trying, but you are saying some cold blooded things.
Why do you just assume it's his fault and he needs to be fixed when she is the one trying to control another person to feel complete while he seems to be trying to be complete by getting away?
All this is predicated upon him being truthful.
What does that even mean?
It is just as possible that all that does not happen. But that does not mean she's not allowed to desire it in the interim.
I never said she wasn't allowed to do anything. I'm saying you just suggested she should convince him that he needs her. You are saying that forced or manipulated codependency is an ok way to snag a "lover"
In either case, I am only suggesting she allow him to pursue his own decision. How is that manipulative?
Even in this post that's not all you were sugfesting. Please stop trying to bend the truth to "win" because this really isn't a game for me. I'm deeply sickened by the things you are saying and it makes me feel crazy when I'm the only one bothered by a guy saying it's OK to manipulate a person into being with you and only you.
Would it be so horrible and unnatural for him to not want to stay with her?