All these replies are based on the submitters morals. I've got from the sidebar and reading such things as "Sperm wars", the amoral nature of what we discuss on Red Pill.
Redstar has decided this is the way to go, he's not getting what he want's or needs from his relationship and has decided to do this. Telling him he's wrong and chastising him does not answer the question he asks.
I currently have a couple of opportunities very similar but I'm single. Does that make me more culpable of being in the wrong or less ? Does the woman not have a mind of her own. It takes two to tango.
One is married, I dated her when a teenager and she cheated with me and then on me so I know the option to go there again is on, but I was young and got oneitis. I'm reluctant because I am afraid of recidivism.
The other has moral qualms the same as Redstars but occasionally sneaks out (lives with her boyfriend) to visit me and has told a mutual friend she loves me. Nothing has happened tho, just long nights talking and laughing. I enjoy her company so I don't mind so do not cut contact.
This situation seems similar to Redstars. From a redpill perspective maybe we are both being groomed for a potential branch swing or an attempt to get us as orbiters. It sounds like to me Redstar this woman is not some dizzy teenager similar to my position. Is she afraid of the wall and looking for some validation ?
I agree with some comments that if you or her give a fuck then facebook messages will leave you open to being found out which could endanger her position with her provider and leave you with evidence that could be used against you.
My next move is to get the woman in a safe one on one environment and just escalate while letting her know that no-one will find out by maybe intimating that I have kept secrets for people and never telling, not giving her enough to delve deeper and make it a trust thing to tell her and so blowing the original reason.
I don't know if it will work but maybe you could try something like that.
I really do think some people should read "Sperm wars" from the sidebar, it's been an eye opener for me and removed a lot of this moral judgement I may have had and am seeing on this thread.