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Hey guys(& girls)! As I haven't posted anything in a while, this will probably be one of my longer posts to date. Hopefully you'll be able to bare through it with me. Going into the year I had a lot of expectations, mostly due to last year's failures. Rebuilding the roster was the toughest challenge we had to face and honestly I think this was one of our biggest strengths towards the end. Even though there were some bumps along the way (Broxah for Amazing and Quaye for NicoThePico) we managed to come together when it mattered the most and I'm impressed how well more (Soaz and Jesiz) and less (Caps and Broxah) experienced players were able to complement eachother. As for myself, I slotted in quite nicely and were able to focus solely on my personal performance and what I could bring to the team on an individual level. Unfortunately, there is a lot more to it. The further into my career I've come, the more I've relied on my personal life when it comes to well being. In the beginning it wasn't a neccesity as neither my physical (I'll get to this later) or psychological self had any boundries, but as the years went by playing became less of a hobby and more of a job. In other words, I basically went from playing without any expectations to the complete opposite. Implementing routines such as a sleeping schedule and nutrition plan definitely helped, but most of it revolved around me feeling at my absolute best. As you can probably tell by now, the importance of my personal life is quite high and I rarely put myself in positions where I'm vurnable to anyone or anything. However, there's been uncontrollable instances in my life such as my knee injury, the age restriction during Season 3, my grandmother passing away during Season 5 Worlds and the most recent one, which struck me a couple of weeks into the Split. I'm not going to mention any details as it's something that will take time to digest already as it is, but hopefully this explains a thing or two in regards of what I mentioned on Twitter about a month ago along with how I've been acting during that period as well. Seeking help from a therapist was one of the first things I did when I realized the gravity of the situation. The second one was complete media lockdown, which gave me more space to figure things out. The third and final one is probably the most significant and it might come as a surprise to many, however I feel like it's something that would not only make you guys understand what's been going on, but also my teammates. Basically, I haven't been a part of the team for the past 5 weeks. Playing Scrims from home and not integrating before / between / after games are examples of compensations that I made to keep myself together. I know it's a hard pill to swallow, especially with us being on the verge of winning the whole thing, but I truly believe this was the biggest reason as to why I managed to finish things in one piece. However, just as how I wasn't communicating with you guys, I wasn't with them as well so I would like to apologize to everyone for not being able to lead the team and be the captain that Fnatic entrusted me to be. As for the physical side of things, I've been dealing with signs of tennis elbows and started seeing a physiotherapist regularly in the beginning of the year. Playing with kinesiology tape has helped immensly. With that in mind, let's look at what's next. Currently I'm in Sweden recharging both psychologically and physically, seeing loved ones along while taking a break from the game. Hopefully it'll set me back on track and allow me to go into the Summer Split with newfound strength. Just has how Zlatan fights his way through thick and thin, I will as well. Thanks!