For my school, you had to pay extra for the cap and gown. Considering how my advisors tricked me into taking classes I didn't need, I certainly did not want to give them any more money. They also would not give you tickets unless you had proof that you purchased the cap and gown. The way they harassed students for extras like class rings, pictures, and giving more $$ to the alumni association (which did nothing except serve as a "committee" letting students know about discounts that we already qualified for, being students) was absolutely disgusting.

I also worked part time for the administration and was subjected to a hostile work environment so severe that it completely destroyed my GPA because HR kept my abuser employed despite evidence. I had to go to therapy in secret while everybody, especially my family, pressured me to drop the case and let the abuse continue. Since then, the POS has illegally accessed my files and used my personal information for spam etc.

For my family, it was a no-brainer. They are bad people behind doors and try to keep it under wraps in public. So when they do get nasty, it gets NASTY. They turn into monsters and have no idea how to behave.

I went to public schools so they didn't pay for a thing but that didn't stop them from forcing me to go to graduation and ruin the entire day by yelling angrily when things weren't going their way. They were never able to help me with homework but had no problem taking credit for my achievements. After middle school, I knew for a fact I couldn't take them anywhere in public if I wanted a chance living past 20. I thought I would enjoy it and it would be a happy occasion. NOPE. I had to sit in a class where everyone bullied me. I had no friends. Finally, mom started screaming because I didn't want to take pictures and I felt on edge wearing my cap and gown in public.

Although your family seems pushy, I can't tell if they just want to celebrate your accomplishments, or if it's more for status and wanting to have something to show for it.

I get feeling obligated because they funded your education, but in my case it was because they expected me to become more successful and eventually support them. When I needed them most, they were nowhere to be found so I see no problem fighting over something this trivial because ultimately, it does nothing for my job prospects.