Just wanted to chime in with some info on married sleeping patterns in my world. My wife and I are completely opposites when it comes to sleep. She needs at least 9-10 hours of sleep a night, where I prefer to have something like 6 hours of sleep (or less!) - anything more and I wake up feeling exhausted. This has always been the case for me and has always been the case for my wife, even before we were married.
There is no magic that can be performed to make disparate sleep patterns line up. Some people just aren't compatible and that's totally fine. My wife and I don't fall asleep at the same time. However, what we DO have together is time in the bed (like you're missing). We will lay in our bed together for an hour or so most nights - watch TV, read books, etc. When the clock hits 9:30, my wife is usually ready for bed. She puts her earplugs in and I kiss her goodnight and leave! When I am ready to go to bed (hours later), I head back into the room and go to sleep alongside her. This pattern has worked wonderfully for 5+ years
What I am trying to point out to you is that this may be less of an issue of avoidance and more of an issue that he just doesn't need as much sleep as you do and is bad at handling it. He might feel that going to bed at the same time of you is going to "lock him in" when he really doesn't want to be in there. I would be miserable if I went to bed at 9:30 when my wife does. Maybe he is afraid of laying there sleepless for hours and just hasn't communicated it to you, as he can see that it means a lot to you.
I would not insist on him coming to bed with you when you go to sleep. However - maybe you can start with an activity together in the bed. Start a show on Netflix and watch an episode each night in bed (since he apparently likes watching TV). When you feel yourself drifting off - tell him you're going to sleep and let him know that its okay if he wants to leave to watch TV or have some alone time, but make sure that you ask him to come back to bed when he's ready to sleep. That way if he isn't ready for bed he can leave - he might feel less "trapped" in the bed this way and begin changing his habits.
People on this subreddit have a tendency to jump to some pretty harsh conclusions and immediately insist you head straight to a counselor (abuse! mental problems! cheating on you!). This issue might be solved by a small change to both of your habits and a tiny bit of daily communication (rather than dropping one big "take it or leave it" communication bomb). Just my take on it.