Promoting this idea that people’s REAL personalities and values are hidden behind some vault that becomes unlocked later on in relationships….this is why people keep choosing the wrong partners. They get told “oh well you can’t tell in the beginning anyways” EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN. Have you ever spoken to him about his feelings regarding debt? Do you know how he feels about it principally? Do you know his REAL stance or did you marry someone who you just have zero clue how they handle debt…just who cares cause good sex amrite.

Point is - fucking ask questions and uncover their value system about EVERYTHING YOU CAN - stop making your main focuses on freaking dinners, wine, and wether he has nice clothes or not.