You need outside mediation. You two aren't even speaking the same language.

Some of the stuff you say is legit if it's true but you cannot go around calling your husband an asshole, bitch, child etc. A guy who calls his wife stuff like that is rightly considered to be a bad husband. You cannot unsay shit like that. You cannot do it publicly. You just shit your own nest and you want to blame him. It isn't being a child to expect your wife not to say and think humiliating things about you in public. It destroys a man's self worth.

The dude said the kid is better with you than him. Some kids are just like that. Why did you even have a kid if you have been having chronic relationship issues? Why did you stay with him if he was failing in all these crucial ways?

Does the VA or whatever service you are in have counseling for these issues?

You really are being a bitch about this, though. You are coming off as mean as fuck, even if you are right. You are setting up a self fulfilling prophecy if you are saying you will give him this and then that is doomed to fail and he will complain.

You either need to both get on a better and same page or seriously think about calling it quits.

None of these problems both are you are complaining about are without fixes. Find the fixes. You are both being immature about it and just sniping at each other.

When you gained baby weight, you did shit about it. When you had other stuff going on, you took steps. So now you have shit going on in your family - take steps. Do it together and both of you cut this out. You don't do anything in the military by stabbing your teammates in the back, stop doing it to each other.