Me [27f] 3 months pregnant with my husband [31M] of 8 years, he cheated on a business trip

Hi there, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I am (almost) 12 weeks pregnant and I just can't imagine doing the 180 from baby/love/happiness to dealing with this.

I do think that marriages can survive some forms of infidelity, but it takes A LOT of work, and heartache, for both partners. I am a firm believer that no one is perfect and that even in marriage people can make mistakes. I think that if he is truly remorseful he will do whatever it takes to show you this. For me this would include 1) no privacy about this. your family, his family, hears about this because he is going to need some support in coming to terms with his actions, and realizing why he was wrong. If you had a traditional wedding ceremony, there is usually a part where the family (or everyone) present says that they are supporting you and looking out for you both in your marriage. This is what that means. He fucked up big time, but you could work through this if his is willing to change and takes the steps to do that. Such as going to counseling, not traveling for work, or taking other steps for full transparency with you.

My husband had a period at the beginning of our marriage where he was flirting with a younger girl, and she sent him some photos. It never moved past that, so not to the level of your husband, but it was still very traumatic for me. After that he lost all privacy privileges. I had all his passwords and I would randomly check everything to see what was going on. Thankfully I never found anything else, but me having to do that was humiliating for him (plus the fact that I told our family and the girls boyfriend) but that's the price he had to pay for his mistake. We also starting counseling which helped tremendously.

I think above all you need some time to clear your head and think about what you want. Also notice his behavior during this time. How remorseful does he continue to be? Does he make it obvious that he wants to do whatever it takes to fix your relationship? Use that to help guide your decision.

/r/relationships Thread