You need to listen to me good if you want your wife to quit this job.

How do I express this in a way where she does not think I just want her to "sit in the house forever" and never pick up her career again? I am also seriously concerned about her working in this field if it is going to be like this everywhere. She wants me to get comfortable with the idea of her working, and she wants to work in psychiatric care. I think I can do the former, but I am uneasy about the latter.

You need to "get comfortable" with the idea of her working, YESTERDAY. No more "I think I can, maybe, one day, possibly get kind of comfortable with you working."

No. You need to completely change your attitude and get 1000% on board with the idea of her working.

You even said herself that she NEVER wanted to be SAHM, yet you pressured her to do it for the entire first half of her 20's when most other people are building their careers. Yet in your TLDR you said she "decided to be SAHM" which is dishonest to say since it was what YOU wanted and she didn't.

And even now you're obviously guilt tripping her and pressuring her and being an obstacle to her.

Because you resent doing cleaning and housework! Right?? Admit it! You weasel around it the whole way in your post. Admit that you want her to go back to cleaning and doing housework instead of you needing to do any of it! And she's desperate to escape from that!

Fing stop it!!!! Your wife is going to CLING ON to any chance she has to develop her career, as long as you keep acting like a fing roadblock in her way, resenting that you have to clean up after yourself and your offspring and thinking she should be your maid forever.

YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR ENTIRE ATTITUDE ABOUT HER CAREER.

You need to have her back with this and become the biggest champion of her career. And you need to get the F over complaining about cleaning and childcare and not say one more word about it for at least a month!

How to get your way and get your wife to quit this job

1. Do your half of cleaning and childcare and DO NOT SAY ONE WORD OF COMPLAINT about it for at least a month.

2. For one week, DO NOT COMPLAIN AT ALL about her job. Not even to express concern. Be kind to her and express nothing but love and caring.

3. During that week. SIT DOWN with her and talk. Actually you should do little of the talking but instead you should ask her questions. Ask her if she has any goals in her career. Ask her if she's thought of any specific positions she'd like to reach, and ask her if she has a timeline for getting there. ASK her what kind of education she would need to get there, and what kind of experience she would need to get.

And then TELL her you want to get her partner and her support, that you have her back, and you are going to do your best to help her make that happen.

1. The next week, tell her that just as you promised, you are going to do your best to help her make her career goals happen. But you are concerned about the danger of her job. And ASK her if there's anything you can do to help her get a job that's still on her career path, but less dangerous.