I'm not actually mean...I don't think, but I definitely come off that way to a lot of people. Trying to make an honest self-assessment is also a fool's errand, so I guess I've got that going for me as well.

I've never had much by way of social smarts. I'd go so far as to say I'm barely functional in a group of people. I've tried over and over to learn to pick up on social cues and body language but unless it's very blatant the art form is completely lost on me. It didn't help that my family moved to fairly isolated community that was hostile to outsiders when I was 8. I was smart and I was fast and being retarded regarding social expectations and norms I didn't see anything wrong with always being the first one to finish school work and always having the right answers when called on in class. I was picked on mercilessly for this behaviour but it hadn't been an issue where I came from so it took 2nd grade me a while to figure out what was happening. I've also been fiercely independent since I was two. Just ask my mom, she still resents me a little for that. I've always had to figure things out for myself even when I didn't know I wasn't at all equipped for the task. Eventually I figured out a way to function and by the time I graduated high school I was an accepted quantity and even had a few degenerate misfit associates that I called friends. That didn't stop me from getting the hell away from that place the day I graduated high school.

The other big factor in my meanness is that I tend to hold other people to the same standards I hold myself to and I never think before I open my goddamn mouth. Things come out very harsh a lot of the time and I backpedal like a motherfucker. I also treat everyone exactly the same no matter who they are. This really pisses off most people that are above me but my best friends these days are social, political and economic "elites" who don't like the way most people treat them with kid gloves. It just never occurred to me and I wasn't taught (or I was and completely disregarded the lessons, which is probably what actually happened) that a social hierarchy exists and I am supposed to adhere to its rules.

I'm also something of a loner which gets taken as dislike and meanness. People take it as a slight a lot of the time when I just want to stay home.

Oh, and I've probably got some borderline psychological issues. My observations lead me to believe I don't experience emotions to the same level of intensity that most people do which makes sympathy and empathy hard. I have my happy and sad and angry and guilty moments but they pass quickly. I also suspect that there's a good possibility I'll never experience love the way most people seem to.

I've really gone way off topic here but I'll leave this rambling mess here anyway.

tl;dr: I'm a borderline psychopathic loner with an alienation complex and unrealistic expectations.