Same with me, mother passed away battling cancer when I was 12, I'm 21 now. Since she left I have never ever discussed it with anyone, not even my brother or father, it's just so distressing to talk about and we all know it, even typing it out is proving difficult. I never even got to say bye to her. The day she died, I got up for school but one of my mom's closest friends pulls up and tells me your not going into school today, and asks me to come with her, I kind of sensed whats happened, but I didn't want to believe it, I asked where we were going but she didn't say anything, when I got to the burial ceremony, I just broke down and didn't stop, riding in the car with the coffin was the peak of the mentally excruciating pain.

Hardest part was, of course, taking over things she would typically do, it was immediately evident that I took her care for granted, we didn't know where to start for food the next day, the mood in the house was just so dead and lifeless, I didn't even know what to do with myself. My brother was at university and my dad is a doctor and often worked late hours, I ended up having to do the laundry, take care of the house, help cook, be responsible for my education, and have mental toughness, my dad was pretty hot headed and often took stuff out on me and my brother a lot of times, I eventually just became independent at a young age. Safe to say that it was a dark and depressing stage of my life.

I can take a lot of shit from people, the only thing I become emotional about is her not being round to see me graduate, get my first job, marriage etc. My dad re-married, my stepmom is great and all, but tbh, it doesn't feel the same, it never did. Guys, don't take your parents for granted, they go through a lot of shit for your well-being.