Same, but I'm over twenty years out instead of ten. That last sentence spurred me to make an account and comment. Hate to say it, but those feelings will only get worse with time. Figure something out before you end up like me. Seriously.
Now for that rant. Skip this part if you want, dear reader, it's not insightful or important.
In high school I dated a girl for two years, we graduated and I was moving away for college. Then, BAM, she's pregnant. She'd always had a "medical condition" that prevented pregnancy, so I never worried about contraception. In reality, there was no medical condition. No idea what she was doing for birth control before then, but when the relationship was ending, she got pregnant.
Abortion wasn't an option for her, though she has had a few since then. Adoption was also off the table. There was nothing I could do, I begged and pleaded, but I was to be tied to her forever.
When I left for school anyhow, she badmouthed me everywhere. To this day, everyone thinks I'm a scumbag; friends, family, you name it. I can't go back to my hometown, or use Facebook, or anything like that. If you Google my name, you'll find nasty comments about me all over the place, often with private information, like my address and phone number. Then there are the anonymous threats, every guy she has dated wants to kill me.
Hey, I'm not a total deadbeat, my measly wages are garnished. I still owe quite a bit of back support, because surprise-surprise, I was a psychological wreck throughout my 20s who didn't finish school and couldn't hold down a job. Now I'm a lonely forty-year-old alcoholic, with a shit job, depression, insomnia, constant suicidal thoughts, zero ability to get a loan, and I can't even travel out of the country. My life is perpetual garbage and there's no way out. Really neat.
What about the kid, you whiny shithead? It isn't about you! Well, I tried to be a part of her life when she was young, but mom made a horrible mess of it. After growing up with divorced parents who hated each other, the last thing I wanted was to cause similar drama. So, I cut all contact, because being a ghost is better than the alternative. Besides, this whole thing has left me very unstable, she's better off without my influence. Am I wrong? Probably, but she's a good kid (woman now), who made it to college without getting pregnant. That's better than I turned out, and better than what would have happened with me around.
This story will surely piss people off. Yes, I'm an asshole. Everyone hates me and I hate myself. It's been that way for twenty years, so do your worst. I didn't comment for sympathy, or anything along those lines, it's just that this article got me thinking about how different my life would be if there was a law like that when I was young.