Everyone tests. It’s human nature. But that’s a sign that we don’t know people well enough.

I can’t really get mad about testing, but I think we (as men) trap ourselves into it without knowing. When a woman starts a conversation, she’s trying to get to know you better. When you fail to open up to her, or put in affection without being asked/expected, she has nothing to gauge your interest or self-actualization. So she tests, whether it be an argument or playing hard to get.

Women think men don’t open up as a tactic. What they don’t realize is the years of social condition against vulnerability and emotional relationships have made us rocks as a defense mechanism, especially because most women run away at the first whiff of an “emotional” man. It’s the same lack of understanding men don’t have when women tell them how uncomfortable they are around male strangers or catcalls.

Women can’t be direct, and men can’t be emotionally honest. So we’re all caught in an endless dance to meet our partners expectations yet still find out who’s really underneath the mask. A couple will never last if they can’t be true to themselves.