Some cats are special. I mean, so special it's a once in a lifetime. Literally blessed to have had them. I once had a beautiful kitten who was unlike any other.

She would never let me out of her sight. She would come when called even from upstairs. She immediately recognised her name or my tone of voice and would follow me and any instruction given. She would constantly cuddle and constant love. More like a puppy than a cat.

Just thinking about her is making tears run down my face. I've loved and lost pets in my life and love my current pets dearly. This one however, I have never ever been able to get over loosing. The pain of her passing was incredible and still is. I literally have to block it out.

No one not even the vets ever knew what was wrong with her. She was always so tiny. Her litter mates were all perfectly healthy. They grew and she didn't. She was the youngest of the four and the only girl. She was gorgeous. She was so, so tiny.

She was acting normally and then one night I sensed something was off but wasn't quite sure. I stayed with her all day and night, doting on her, and finally I went to feed the others and she stayed with my partner who was asleep cuddle up on the couch on blankets. She waited for me to leave the room and when I came back she was laying there and she was just ... gone.

They say it was just fading kitten syndrome. Possibly something genetic that nobody could have predicted. It's still freaking awful to go through.

To this day, I still panic about loosing any of my cats suddenly, because of how I lost her.