The last time this happened to me, I got so annoyed I swore off masturbating for a month. I didn't buy a new vibrator for more than two years until one day I woke up and could not get the thought of a bullet-induced multiple orgasm out of me head.

I drove to the closest open sex shop and hurried in. I saw the locked glass case with the Lelos, We Vibes and (be still, my beating heart) the Hitachi Magic Wand, but knowing my bank account was low, I kept my eyes averted and went straight to the corner with all the cheap vibrators in their blister packaging. I stood there eyeing the selection with the half-excited and half-dreadful feeling of a recovering drug addict entering the alley where they know they can score in a pinch but the drugs are always cut with garbage and the high is never good enough.

I pulled up reviews of some of the promising looking bullets under $40 (runs on those impossible to find watch batteries) and hurried home with my purchase. I thought about swinging by the local electronics store to see if I could find batteries just in case, but I figured it was brand new and I wouldn't need them today.

I got home, run up the stairs, laid down a towel, got out the lube, plugged in my phone and settled in for a good solo sesh. I was so excited I didn't need the lube or internet porn.

Just as I'm about to reach the top of that magic multiple orgasm mountain, the battery dies. My clit throbs angrily and I try to salvage the orgasm with my fingers, but I'm too annoyed to cum. I throw the bullet across the room and huffily stomped into the bathroom to take a cold shower.

Haven't touched it since. Fucking cheap bullets. Want a WeVibe or Lelo Ora 2 so bad but can't justify the cost to myself. Sigh.