Need help with my career

I know you want to rush off in another direction. That is perfectly understandable, but I will advise -- from personal experience -- caution.

When I graduated (B.Math in Computer Science) I was a complete social basket case. I hadn't even heard of ADHD in the early 90's and I had this weird idea that my cluelessness was caused by the fact that I spent all my time around computers. So instead of getting a comphy job in programming I swore off computers. Declaired I would never program again.

I moved into an abandoned warehouse with about 40 artists, helped build walls, ran extension cords to spliced powerlines in the building next door, and fed myself by going to art openings to steal crackers, cheese & wine.

Got good at design, worked my way up to working in a couple extremely well known proffessional commercial art galleries, and eventually got a job at an art museum, while volunteering as a docent at another, all the while taking acting lessons to confront my what I thought was either Social Phobia or Auspergers, and reading a ton of art theory.

Sounds good right? Sounds accomplished right? The thing is none of it mattered. About 8 years ago, thinking that, all I had to do was work hard to defeat my personal issues, It all came crashing around me. Got hit by a major bout of depression and realized that nothing I'd done mattered. That because of the ADHD, I was still limited in the secondary direction I'd chosen.

Recently, upon self reflection, I realize that in some ways I had been running away from my CS degree, that in some ways I'd have been better served staying in computers. It would have been one hell of a lot easier at least. And I wouldn't have had to live so much of my life in such phases of extreme poverty. In the retrospect of my old age (of 43) I have to admit there is something comfort in security. I once spent 8 months living from a rolled up sleeping bag in stairwell and being paid in beer & grilled cheese, I probably couldn't do that again.

At least you know you have ADHD. I was only diagnosed last week. You've got that going for you. It just sounds like you still aren't sure what direction you want to head in. Which is why I say figure it out in your spare time. You can make mistakes in a hobby that you simply can't if you just drop everything. You have a hell of a lot more wiggle room. And the very best hobbies turn into carreers you love.

/r/ADHD Thread Parent