I just have to say: from a completely outside perspective, my boyfriend would feel completely betrayed if he ever found out I did that, because I guess in our eyes...it seems very petty

also, if you boyfriend smokes a lot, it is likely he has a high tolerance ..everyone downvotes these type of comments but that's okay - I just want to provide an alternant perspective. I know this won't be well-received here. my boyfriend has some severe issues and he has been smoking daily, and on work breaks and driving for over 10 years. he is the best driver I know and has never been in an accident. that is not an exaggeration, he is always hyperfocused and never speeds. he can perfectly park and judge all types of situations, driving in the mountains (we live in colorado. so it's legal here. perhaps that is an alternate issue for you, and it is illegal where you are) a ton of animals have darted across the road in front of us, but he always sees them, and calmly responds in the perfect way every time. I think weed helps him be calm. But to me it is obvious that his 'stoned' is way different than mine (this would all sound crazy to the anti-weed teenager I used to be, I was very scared of it and never wanted to be 'stupid,' I thought it would dull me. there are people that respond to it in all types of different ways, and of course there are negative ones, and that's always something to look at...but you don't even know if weed affects his life positively or negatively, you just assume it's negative. drugs affect everyone differently.. sometimes in drastic ways, sometimes in minor ways, also it always depends on how much you smoke, what your tolerance is. there is a spectrum of 'stoned' just like a spectrum of drunk, there is getting 'buzzed' and then getting smashed, and I know it's controversial to say but I truly think the dangers are very very minimal when someone just smokes to take the edge off once in a while (certainly way less than alcohol) - everyone smokes differently (with different things, seeking different highs), and maybe your boyfriend just enjoys it or uses it to cope with something in his own life. It is bizarre to me that you would not discuss it with him first. but I am certain this entire comment is bizarre to you too, because we are just vastly different people, it's okay if you disagree with this entirely, and you need to make actions that make sense to you, not to me or strangers on the internet. it is perfectly okay if your values or opinions are different than mine. I think it's just late and I have no filter right now.

coffee alters you, cigarettes do, is it 'disrespectful' for us to alter ourselves...at work, I just think weed can be tamer than most people think...but yes, if your boyfriend is getting ripped every day, that is an issue, I just don't know any smokers who actually do that (there are the type of 'stoners' that intentionally smoke people out and think it's cool to get as high as possible, but I haven't run into that since I as a teenager. I hate that...)

I have to take prescription medication (pain meds) for a chronic illness, and they often 'alter' me (make me tired, I do not drive on those - NOTE: if my boyfriend in any way seemed impaired or unfocused in any way driving, I absolutely wouldn't let him do it. But this has been his life for ten years, and he uses pot like a mentally ill person would use pharmaceuticals to function if they couldn't otherwise. I have spent hours, days, years with him in cars (we like to drive in the mountains a lot), I trust him more than anyone else who has ever driven me (my mother is 1000x worse driver because she panics all the time and enjoys screaming)

he is also the hardest worker at his job and his boss thinks of him like another son - his boss knows he smokes and doesn't give a fuck.

daily smokers seem very very extreme to people who don't smoke or haven't known many people who do (I completely understand that), but I think there is still such misunderstanding and such a stigma around pot. it's not good to be dependent on anything, but sometimes we need our vices I guess, and we all have our dependencies. and my boyfriend has chosen this, and he is a highly intelligent, focused, driven person -

how I describe pot now that I am very used to it: a very warm feeling that relieves my pain and allows me to dwell in a happier place. (I smoke way less than my boyfriend but I smoke way more than I thought I ever would,, a few hits or sometimes more here and there, recently it has become every day) - I am grateful to it, I used to be dependent on pills a psychiatrist gave me, benzos, first xanax then klonopin trying to minimize anxiety rebounds but they never went away, and I was in pain all of the time (even those type of meds I never wanted in my life, I never imagined myself having a chronic illness very young and needing to try these things out of desperation but here I am), and pot doesn't take all of that away but it helps me live above it and function, often I am too deep in my physical and emotional misery

if I get too high (like I eat an edible) then yes, it's awful,and severely mind altering and I would never want to do that at a job, but I'm sure the majority of people who use weed in any way do not do that (but perhaps I'm naive) - that is a rare occurrence for me because it's not even pleasant most of the time.

like alochol it's better just to 'have a few' and then stop. in my opinion, but that's just how I experience it. like I said: everyone is different, so please have a discussion with your boyfriend. I'm sure his rationale and his choices are caused by extraordinarily different than mine, and it's important to know them. just know that your mentality about this can be...so far away from your boyfriends he won't know what hit him after you tell his dad (and..I'm assuming there are ramifications that will hurt him, but I don't know), and I feel that's unfair to him.

my boyfriend isn't a 'stoner' in the sense that weed is his life or something, or weed enables his laziness, he's kind of the least lazy person I've ever met. yet he smokes every day all day.

he single handedly completely changed my perception of weed. and I guess I will never look at it the same way.

I honestly don't judge people who smoke in any way, even at their jobs (obviously this doesn't mean, bong rips before you work. and obviously it all depends on context and where you work)

maybe your boyfriend is just used to doing this, maybe he doesn't realize it would be that much of a problem...I understand you wanting it to stop or being disappointed that he smoked at work, but if you want him to stop, why not explain and give him the chance to first?