Oh don't get me wrong, I definitely agree on that my bf was being really dumb :p And I agree that it was unhealthy and immature to do all that hiding stuff, and it's not something I ever felt comfortable with (which is why I broke off contact for that year) but kinda dealt with for a short while cuz i kinda became his outlet for whining about Y's behavior. I guess that could've also played a role in my negative opinion of her.

I'm really not competitive with anyone but her I guess. I can recognize that my behavior right now is similar to hers. However, what I kind of wanted emphasize, is that me and Y were actually something you could consider friends for a while. I was not checking up on anything, living a happy life, she wasn't on my mind at all, for at least 10 months or smth. It's only in the past few months that I noticed she's stayed the same, and I don't see how someone can expect to stay "friends" when all she does is keep competing and one-upping. This is hate, and it makes me feel threatened in a way (which I tried to surpress cuz I was doing well), but too much time around her kinda became a pitfall I guess and now i kinda feel like I'm back where I started and it just really saddens me.

I know you're all right though when it comes to deleting her out of my life completely, it just that some part of me really dislikes having to take such "violent" measures to actively push someone away, kind of taking away their space of movement or something. It's all a bit messy, reason why I posted this.