This is eerily familiar. From the ages to the substance abuse to the mental illness on both sides, just incredibly similar. I've been your wife in this situation, and I hate to say it, but things got much, much worse before they got better. Not only did my drinking get worse, so did my SO's anger and abuse; even after fleeing for my own safety, I didn't stop drinking until a few years later.

You need to recognize a couple things here.

• One, your wife is an alcoholic. She's not likely to stop anytime in the near future, no matter how much you and your mom say it makes her unpleasant to be around (trust me, that is not convincing and just gives her another excuse for "needing" a drink). The only person who can stop her drinking is her. It is totally reasonable for her drinking to be a dealbreaker for you.
• Two, you have anger and abuse issues that you need to deal with now. No matter how badly she's behaving, it does not justify you slamming doors, punching walls, and attempting to break into a room where she's locked herself away from you. That is not okay. I know it doesn't seem like much in the moment, and it probably feels like you wouldn't do that if she didn't provoke you with her drunken antics, but that is not the case. Jail is full of guys insisting their wife/girlfriend just pushes their buttons and they'd be absolutely fine if she just knocked it off. But that rage and upset is coming from inside; she's just giving you an opportunity to let it out. Just like she's the only one responsible for her behavior, you're the only one responsible for your behavior.
• Three, this relationship may be too sick to save, and that might not be a bad thing. If the two of you are bringing out the worst in one another (and it sounds like you are), it might be best to get the hell away from each other. That's easier said than done, and I say that from experience. Just know that as hard as it is now, it's only going to get worse unless something major changes right now.