Couples therapy, yesterday.

You two are BOTH sliding into abusive patterns... an abuser doesn't necessarily need to be a bad person, all it needs is for a good person to feel like they have run out of ways to express themselves and start acting out of desperation/frustration. That can spiral into patterns which become increasingly abusive, it always escalates, you two are just one or two more fights away from laying hands on each other.

Get into couples therapy NOW. You need to learn how to keep control in disagreements so that they don't become fights, how to communicate effectively, how to de-escalate each other and yourselves... this is NOT about one of you being "wrong" or a "problem" - this is about learning to be better communicators.

If you don't nip this in the bud now and learn to do better, this situation will only get worse and worse and end up fucking you both up seriously for the rest of your relationship, and if it doesn't last then you're going to have bad habits and nasty baggage to carry on into your next ones.

Deal with it now, get professional help. If you can't afford it, check in with NAMI.org to find local resources for free/very low cost support.