I'm going to be honest with you, and I hope I don't come across as too much of a bitch, but...

You're too controlling. First of all, when you agree to live together, it is no longer YOUR place, it is becomes the home of both of you. Should he respect that some things bother you and probably just not do them, yes, however, he has a right to be comfortable in his home as well. I'm sure your carpet is not as gross as you think it is. It honestly sounds like you are very irrational over cleanliness and order. Cleanliness and organization is great, but not at the expense of other's or your own sanity. A little dirt and a little mess will not kill you.

I won't excuse him on the laundry and the folding because there is no excuse. He lives there and wears clothing and needs to be a big boy and do his wash and folding like an adult; you't not his mother and this is not 1860.

Onto the haircut. He should not have cut the kid's hair into a style he knew you would hate, HOWEVER, the child is his child too. The kid is not solely yours, he deserves some say in how to dress and style the child that you two had together. He didn't steal your child's identity. It's hair. It grows back. Your kid is not suddenly another person, it won't make his personality change, and I am certainly sure that you don't love you child less because his hair is a different cut. Your kid will eventually start making decisions about his appearance on his own anyway. What then? You're going to freak out on your child the first time he asserts his rights as an individual? I get that this was the straw that broke the camel's back and I get that he went against your wishes, but, seriously, it's hair. It's going to grow out in a couple weeks.

There are definitely issues with your boyfriend too, issues that make me think this is not the healthiest relationship in the world. He should not lie, he should not demand that you do "women's work", and he should not go out of his way to disrespect you. That said, you are also disrespecting him by expecting him to cow-tow to your every rule and regulation. You are in a relationship and you are parents, you need to be a team member, not a dictator.

You both need to bend a little and compromise. You need to learn to live with the little things and let some stuff slide. He needs to man up and help around the house and show that he does care about what you want and need. I don't see this happening without some help along the way; I see you two ripping each other's faces off.

Get some counseling and learn how to be a functioning team. You both need to compromise and learn respect for the other person or else you will be setting a horrible example of relationships for your child. It can't all be about one person in a relationship, and I have a funny feeling that you are both selfish, in different, opposing ways. You both want things the way you want and how you want it and expect everybody else to do it your way. That's not going to fly in a partnership.

So, either get some counseling and learn how to live with and work together, or separate before even more fights and arguments break out and you expose your kid to an unhappy and unhealthy relationship.