I want to ask this question as a person who tends to use the n word to people or behavior that annoy me.

I am using the word the word because I associate it with an insult on the same level of someone acting stupid. I don't, and never will associate it with black people, in my opinion the use of the word depends on the context.

I don't know how to express this opinion I have but I really absolutely do not associate the word with demeaning black people at all, in fact when with my black friends they tend to not mind the fact that I call them the n-word the same way black people use it towards each other, because in that context I am using it as "homie" or "friend".

But when someone is acting like an idiot I use the word towards them in that context what race that person is doesn't really matter to me.

However, this is something that I use with friends only and I would never walk up to a random person and call them the n word when they are acting in a manner that would cause me to say the word with my friends.

Would you consider that as racist behavior? Even when I do not and cannot fathom the word being associated negatively towards black people? and that context matters when using words?