Yes. This behavior pattern was completely different. I'm not about to tell people that my whole relationship has been sunshine and roses. I think a lot of posts similar to this and the poster always seems to convey a lack of rational behavior or discusses alarming behavior patterns. I'm also not trying to make excuses I hope. I don't know at this point. I'm literally so embarrassed to bring this up to my friends because I'm literally the last person in my group of friends that anyone would ever expect this kind of thing to happen to.

I have noped out of dating situations that raise too many red flags or display narcissistic behavior before I met my husband. I'm a pitchforks and shovels kinda girl. I'm the first to be like "LEAVE HIM HE'S A CREEP!" and now that I'm in this situation I feel so taken back because this is not the way he usually acts at all.

Him? I've seen him angry as hell, sure, but it takes a lot and he's usually still cool as a proverbial cucumber. He blew up at me on both of these occasions over virtually NOTHING and that makes no sense at all.

The only thing that's changed is our sex life, which is the best it's ever been, so that's just weird to me.

And yeah you're absolutely right. I'm more than willing to put in the work with the man I spent 9 years with. I don't want to put in the work for this relationship if this creep is who he is now. I always thought an outstanding majority of domestic violence had repeating patterns of behavior that were detectable from early on. This is out of nowhere and I've never seen whoever that person is.

And I think you could best bet that I'm not going to merely accept an apology at this point. I think this is strike two. He needs a big fat wake up call.