Anyone else struggle with gruesome thoughts/feelings?

I went to that sub-reddit when I wanted to see what other people might see if I blew my brains out or killed myself in some other violent fashion. I couldn't find anything referring to death by hypothermia, which is how I was planning to do it.

To directly answer your question, I have had all sorts of different thoughts. I always wanted to be an author, though, and I am enamored with monsters. I sometimes imagine scenarios or I'll have a fit of inspiration and have to write it down. I've gotten up from almost falling asleep before because too many times I've thought I'd remember something cool I thought about but inevitably forget. I have at least half a dozen text files on different hard drives and various notebooks that I've kept over the years. Some of the things are silly, some are horrible. But putting it down in text makes it real, I guess, and I can always come back to it and analyze it or what made me think about it and what it might mean that I was thinking about it. I doubt I'll ever do anything with all of it but it's there.

/r/depression Thread