I would take matters into your own hands, literally. That may have been a valid way of thinking for the first year but three years in and you have never had an orgasm?

There is something called the Hitachi wand vibrator. Get one of those. A suction cup dildo you can stick on your shower wall. Speaking of the shower, buy a massaging shower head. Install it yourself. Don’t rely on him for orgasms. And if he isn’t willing to get better for you, he is not worth staying with. Once you start learning how to please yourself, you will know what you are missing out on.

My guess is, he is going to be jealous of all the fun you are having, he is going to put down the porn for a while and he will step up. If not, he is really not worth your time.