I thought I would get better, civil responses at an academic subreddit, but neither response has really done that with the small jabs worked into them, and neither even really address the majority of the post or contribute.
Telling him what to do? I guess. But if he was smoking crack, by that logic if I say he shouldn't I'm telling him what to do.
At best, he has gotten 5 hours of sleep most nights over the past 4 or 5 years. More often it's 0-3 and has been so hard on his body he regularly fell asleep in classes through all four years of college. He has started gaining weight and is often very stressed but does not even recognize lack of sleep as any kind of concern, nor not wearing a seatbelt, not anything I mentioned I plead with him to do. And sleeping so little is known to cause permanent damage and isn't conducive to learning, just short term memorization. The alternative is...ignoring anything he does that's preventable, damaging, or such?
When I said we fight, I didn't mean I come at him guns blazing. I said I ask him. I talk with him. They reach arguments. The fights last half a year because of his anger. One year it was because he posted pictures of dissected mice playing with their bodies and making jokes with his friends after he just told me weeks prior how much he didn't want to dissect them and how much the lives of lab mice meant to him. I got upset for what he posted and he held it against me for half a year. He's broken almost every promise he's ever made and I forgive him before he even asks. He's made threats to tell people my sensitive information several times in recent years, once to someone who was hospitalized and in poor health in his anger.
I could have contacted his college to discuss my concerns or outright try to make him fall out of consideration. But I didn't so much as contact them to ask what their requirements for hiring professors are. And I've never threatened him. You have no idea how much love and support I've shown him without ever asking for anything in return but for him to take better care of himself and not be so reckless and impulsive.
As much as I disagree with him taking this job at this moment when he has next to no work experience, jut graduated, has never left the school environment, has no education background or degree or even a master's, failed the entrance exam, and seems to struggle more and more to balance basic aspects of life, and possibly an anger/emotional issue given how he's began to use threats against me and has cast off 80% of his friends saying they don't matter and never did all I've done is use words and information to try to get him to wait. He has a temper that's been getting worse, maybe from all his stress, maybe something more. And it goes well beyond me being the cause.
I have real concerns for him and his students and I believe the criteria for someone being a professor of higher education, where the quality of instructors has greater meaning, should not simply be "passed college, wants to teach college level courses." If students only should be taught what's in their textbooks with no need for the added life experience and field knowledge of a well-trained or well-read instructor, then there should honestly be no bottom line for who to hire as a college professor.