This gives me hope. I was emotionally strung along in a relationship that was not going anywhere. I proposed to her 2 years ago and she refused. To this day I cannot tell you why I didn't break up with her at that instant. I thought she was the one. The love of my life.
We had religion between us and for the remaining two years it was good in a sense but torture in another. The sex and cuddling stopped after my proposal. Cuddling continued at some point but the sex and kissing was over. I was so miserable at one point that I almost had the courage to break up with her but somehow I just went along with it.
Three months ago she announced to me that she had met a new guy and was going to meet him in his country for a week. I knew then that now it was finally over. She came back and said that he had proposed and that she had accepted. Them being Mormons the wedding was planned first 4 weeks after the proposal but they eventually postponed it to 2 months from that. They got married a week ago Saturday. Their "relationship" was maybe 6-7 months long mostly over facebook and skype and of that 2 months was the planning of the wedding. It's so fucked up that I cannot believe how could this woman I knew for 5 years do something like this. She has a master's degree for crying out loud. Sure she couldn't find a job after graduating and was probably depressed by her own right and sure we were in a dead end relationship but fuck me what a solution.
He is a jobless wannabe concert pianist who has not been accepted to a school and honestly is too old at this point to ever make it. But I guess the Mormon brainwashing of an eternal family writes all that off. This is why she couldn't accept me because she would've not gotten her "eternal family" with me.
I knew our relationship was shit near the end and still we both stuck to it. Her being a good Mormon girl even ended up cheating on me. I have a very hard time reconciling all this in my mind. I'm in a personal crisis and fucking depressed. The worst of the shock has worn out but nothing feels good anymore. I'm fucking pissed all the time and I feel like I no longer have any idea how the world works.
I'm 30 and I feel like a worthless shit because of this. She was my first long term and I thought our start at the very least was just like a fairy tale. The first 3 years was a fucking dream that's why I proposed. It was so good. I've tried so hard to detach from her but it's taking all my energy and emotion. Sometimes I just don't know how I can take this any longer.