I told my husband that we would have sex again. I let him know it was a struggle. And we did, it just took a long time. It did have to happen "naturally." I was incapable of just having sex with him if he just walked up and started touching me. He didn't care. He still just wanted sex which exacerbated the issue because he wasn't caring about my needs. I would wake up receiving oral sex. It was traumatising.

I would struggle every day and tell myself, "Today is gonna be the day that I'm able to break this pattern. Today, we'll have sex, scratch that, we'll make love and it will make things a lot better for me and for him." Wrong. Trauma, mental illness, whatever causes it isn't lying. This dude should have had an honest conversation but we can't say he's been thinking "I'll never have sex with this person." because we don't know that. You're making assumptions and that is far from fact. If that ends up being the fact in this instance, it doesn't mean that your assumptions are always gospel from here on out.