My ex wife illegally moved my kids in January of last year. We had a temporary order, and she had primary care, and I had them every other weekend, summers and holidays. This put me at about 4 months of the year with them.

A court cant tell you where to live, but they can say you cant move the kids school district without consent from other parent, and you have to adhere to the court ordered custody. Well one day the kids stopped talking on the phone and I couldnt get a hold of them (they lived about 8 hours away). A month later after I started proceedings to press charges for contempt of court (I missed 2 of my weekends) she surfaces with the kids in Washington state (they were in Iowa).

Fast forward 3 months and she is found guilty of contempt. Her punishment? Half my lawyer fees, and 2/3 of cost of transporting kids for my visitation. But they didnt send her to jail and took my "every other weekend" rights away, as they were too far away (I was happy to make the 8 hour drive every other weekend to see them).

I never bought into that whole "family court is sexist" nonsense, until it happened to me. It is so mind blowing and scary and heartbreaking its hard to explain. Its hard not to give up when everything you defined yourself as was ripped from you. Never mind losing a marriage of 10 years to an affair, its the not seeing the kids everyday and feeling of helplessness that keeps you up and doesnt let you sleep. I swear I havent slept more than 4 hours in these last 2.5 years.

But my day in court (final custody decision, only took 2.5 years!) is this month. I am hopeful, but even with the mind blowing situation its still only 50/50 my lawyer estimates. Ya I am going bankrupt, and for a 50% shot, but I have to do something. Gonna suck moving out there to see them and giving up my (extremely good) career.