In my brain, she's a Caucasian, an you're of an 'ethnic' origin? But that's my racist brain having grown up in an racist ethnic family.

She wants family. She wants to be part of a family where family invite her over for dinner and are always glad to see her.

She comes from a dysfunctional family, so she's doing the best she can to NOT be annoying.

The fact that she comes over only when invited and only with gifts means that she's being extremely careful and respectful to not piss people off. It's sad because it demonstrates that she feels outside of the group, and feels that making a single mistake will exclude her from said group.

She's taking the extra steps to take them out, babysit their kids, give them employment to beg for their favour. It's really sad.

That's not what a family is about.

Your group won't apoligize. To quote a fav move, "That's pride fucking with you." They're not being a family to her.

Half assed apologies are remembered forever.

You can still stand by your girlfriend.

You're going to need to cleave the two groups.

Tell your girlfriend that you stand by her. Tell your family, that you stand by her, then tell your family no more except for the fact that she has priority.

They need to know, that family or not, they are being awful people.

Sure, head over to do things like cut the lawn, help move a mattress, fix a car, but do not go over for 'family' dinners, birthdays, and for gods sake not christmases. Do not go over for events where partners would usually be invited over. NEVER mix the two untill they have apologized properly.

It was disgusting that the behaved that way. It is disgusting how they are not taking responsibility for it now.

It is HARD to find someone that you care about that cares for you in a good way.