It's been a year for me. She was perfect. She had a meth problem that for the life of her she couldn't seem to control. Otherwise, she was the sweetest, kindest most beautiful woman I ever met. I sent her to live with her parents in Utah (I live in Cali and meth here is a problem) to get clean. I told her I'd be here for her when she got back and I gave her the key to my house. I told her my door is always open. She proceeded to crash her parents truck and got arrested for marijuana (big no no in Utah) and couldn't leave the state until the trail was over. I waited months, all the while her sister told me she was buying drugs from people in NA. I wanted her to come back so bad I just didn't want to be an enabler. I wanted her to do better for herself. I wanted her to want what I wanted for her and that was a better life. After being gone for a couple months, she told me her boss purposed to her (she worked there for three weeks at this point) and she said yes... And that was the end of that. That was a year ago. Everyday I wake up and feel immense sadness and dispare. I wish I never wake up again. All the while my current gf asks me, "what's wrong? What's wrong?" And there's nothing I can tell her. I can't tell her that the love of life is gone forever and there's nothing I can do. I wish I could go back and be there when she needed me, rather than getting angry and sending her away like I gave up. I get to live with this everyday and I just don't want to.