My mom was like this my whole life. I know what you're going through.
There were times I just felt like punching holes in the walls. Seeing her like this was just that rage inducing.
She'd had depression since I was born pretty much. There were ok times when I was a younger kid. She made trips to the psychiatric hospital every now and then though. She'd be gone for a couple of weeks, would come back home full of energy and motivation. Those times were nice. But she'd lose all that energy super fast and find herself going downhill again.
Then, once I was around 15, she never ever really got better. The better times were mostly just less bad than the worst.
She was taking so much heavy medication that seemed to alter her... there were times I was wondering if I'd ever really met my mother you know?
I don't think she was a bad person but she could be very manipulative and mean sometimes too.
Because she'd been reckless with her medication before she was under strict scrutiny, nurses came by her house every day to make sure she was taking her medication properly. In the past she had stopped taking them at times and would transform into this mean psychotic monster or take too many and end up in the hospital for a few days.
The people who took care of her kept judging me and my sisters for not giving up our lives to take care of her... "How dare you study abroad, how dare you try to live your life?" (always implied though, never to my face. Why give me the opportunity to explain myself right?)...
My parents divorced when I was 19 but my dad never stopped taking care of her, making sure she had enough to eat, stuff like that. All of us kept tabs no matter what those nurses and doctors thought. We're pretty sure they believed the lies she told them about us because she just wanted sympathy from them.
She was really annoying could be really bitchy and downright cruel sometimes. I still miss her though. I just wish I'd known the woman she could have been without all that crap going on. I'm pretty sure she would have been really nice.