My mom will not listen to me?

I have a tumblr that I usually use for ranting about what she does. I used to talk to my friends and boyfriend about it but my brother overheard me on the phone and told my mom I was "talking bad about her" so now I can't really talk on the phone at my house =/ She also does the whole, "Oooh, now you can go run to your boyfriend and tell him how awwffuulll and meeeaaann I am so he can feel sorry for you!" And I mean honestly? Most of the time I talk her up. I'll say something that bugged me that she did but continue with "But she's not bad all the time! Sometimes she's great! We have great conversations sometimes, and she'll give me money for gas and stuff. And she gives me a place to live, with food and stuff, so it's not all bad, eh?" But then I realize my mental health is suffering terribly because all I ever hear is how I do nothing. I hear about all the wrong things. When I was in high school, she'd scream at me for bad grades but would shrug off good ones, like "well, that's how they're supposed to be! keep doing that!" which sounds like it could be nice but it's not, when it comes from her. She also likes to bring up how I went on spring break the same day she had an outpatient surgery at a GYNO office. My friend and I had been planning for months and I told my mom way in advance when our plane was leaving and she agreed to take us to the airport, no problem. But as soon as I got back she wouldn't stop with "You just had to go on the day of my surgery! Nobody cared about what I needed!" She did the same thing at halloween when I was 11. She'd had my brother about a week before but still took my friend and I trick or treating, which was a lot of walking for her right after a c-section. I never asked her to take us, she volunteered. But somehow it's my fault, and she brings it up when I don't do something she wants me to do RIGHT AWAY. I'm sorry, I'm rambling, I just get so fed up because I feel responsible for her and my brother, like I'm their parent instead of her being our parent.

/r/raisedbynarcissists Thread Parent