I've had a friend in a similar situation as you and to this day, after 5 years, none of his wife controlling behavior have improved.

He can barely have a night out and when he does it's always when the kids go to sleep. Then when he's out, he will watch his phone religiously to make sure he doesn't miss a text or call from her. It happened a couple of times where he had to leave.

If I go over to his place when the kids are asleep he still have to take care of them if they wake up.

This is ridiculous to me, my wife and I regularly go out. I won't text her unless I have to go to the hospital with one of the kids.

I tried understanding it and after seeing my cousin in a similar situation and not doing anything about it I'm wondering if some people are actually happy in this type of relationship.