I'll tell you. It doesn't look like anyone else will read it anyways.
[Note: We never should have gotten married in the first place. She was crazy from the beginning, but I didn't know that.]
It was the pretty standard getting divorced "I want (this), I want (that), I may have screwed up but you owe me!" line you hear about.
She was "driven to being poly" and signing up for Ashley Madison because I was "so cold". Sure... Whatever bullshit gets your lying ass through the day, you cunt. "I want to stay best of friends though." You bet. Shaking My Head Sorry I wasn't around much since I was working full-time and going to grad school... to support your stay-at-home-with-no-kids, has-fun-hobbies ass.
Anyway, she wanted the house, both cars (!), the dogs - damn near everything. My state (WA) has amazingly little in the law books about divorce. It is basically, "If You Do Not Have Kids: Fill this out and you are now 'Separated'. For the divorce, divide things up more or less 50/50. Who did what to whom doesn't matter. Figure it out yourselves. We will not grant the divorce until at least 90 days after the two of you come to agreement. You should have gotten a pre-nup. Any questions? Hire a lawyer. Other than that... piss off." I'm fucking serious, that's it.
I particularly liked the "Who did what to whom doesn't matter" since she had assaulted me when I walked in on her fucking a guy in our bed. Twice. That is correct, twice. And the cops had come and escorted her off the property with a 'warning' about domestic abuse. Didn't matter.
If you do have kids then there are actual laws, but they are a nightmare. [Source: Friend had kids and got divorced at the same time as I did (he started about a month before - She was cheating with some guys on TV). The courts were totally up in his shit and it took like three years to get it completely done.]
Anyway, it took 9 months to come to some sort of an agreement that we both would sign. I ended up giving her the house and one car but no money since she had already drained the accounts. Still, it absolutely ruined me financially.
Surprisingly, or maybe not, she defaulted on both the house and car and I got them back ~18 months later (a complicated, boring story) but it made the financial repercussions even worse for me.
About 4 months later, while sitting in the courtroom pews waiting to be called up, for the judge to sign the final divorce decree, she leans over to me and says with all seriousness, "Life's crazy. Anything can happen. Who knows, maybe in a few years we'll put all of this past us and get back together. Get married again."
Are you motherfucking kidding me?!?! I would literally commit suicide before I ever had contact with her again. I was tempted to assault her in front of the judge and a crowd of cops, but we were minutes away from getting the divorce signed, so I nodded my head and said, "Yeah, life's crazy."
I guess that's about it. Had I known how important a pre-nup is, I would have gotten one. I thought they were "Unromantic". Fuck me. Now I know better. Anything else I can answer?